Saturday, July 2, 2011

An Accomplishment

This Friday, July 8th, the Genesee Valley Council on the Arts is opening it's Member Exhibit. And, it's my first "show" since college, 30-odd years ago.

Obviously being a member's exhibit, it's not juried. But, it's a first step. For me, it was the accomplishment of starting the works, learning about framing (& both pieces do look so much better framed), and just following through.

I've always been held back by an unfortunate case of anxiety. The fear of failure has stopped me in my tracks more times than I could ever recall.

I used to constantly get choked up about whether anyone would like what I did or if it was good enough. Would people just laugh at me behind my back? Or, worse, to my face? Stage fright and anxiety attacks were not a rare occurance.

Ice Fog
5x7 Water Soluble Paint on Canvas
©BEDeuel 2011

 A good part of my life has been spent almost paralyzed by this condition. And, that includes pursuing the idea of showing my work. A lot of times, it even prevented me from finishing an artpiece. What if I didn't know how to finish it? Wouldn't it just be easier to stop and say that I ran out of time to finish it?

Now, I won't lie: I'm still concerned about what people think. I have to be concerned if I'm to function in the real world. I have to perform in my job and work with clients as well as other workers. But, I've been doing the job so long that it's second nature that comes so easily, I don't have the need to overthink it and panic. Some details and procedures may still trip me up, but those setbacks pass quickly.

The opportunity to show a couple of pieces along with a variety of other artists is wonderful. I get to see the differences in both the works and the reactions that people may have to the works. I am prepared that my pieces may not generate any interest. But, it's the first step to seeing where I may need to aim the next time with my work.

I'll try to do a few more non-juried presentations, but, the goal is to try to be accepted into a juried exhibition. The goal is to overcome the fear of rejection and failure.

I have to say "thank you" to all of you who have been so encouraging and supportive over these last several months. I'm not sure I would've screwed up the needed courage to do this otherwise.

Silhouette in Field
6x8 Acrylic Paint on Canvas Panel
©BEDeuel 2010

I'm so excited to be starting on the path of this newest journey!

Enjoy your holiday weekend and any journeys you decide to take now or in the future!


  1. Your work is just beautiful! I'm so glad I stopped in. I'm adding you to my Google Reader. I look forward to visiting again soon.

  2. Sounds like a fabulous first step! I think we all get tripped up at times by the fear of what people will think.... you're in very good company on that one.

  3. Love your paintings, they should do well. I know what you mean about getting accepted in a juried exhibition....I've yet to try that one. Oh, and I think we all critique ourselves too much......ann


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